Brian Dopirak & Randy Ruiz: Soulmates

Spring training is come, and one of the stories of the spring for the Jays is Randy Ruiz and Brian Dopirak battling for a spot in a first base platoon/a permanent spot on the bench because a platoon would mean filling out two different lineup cards and that ain't how Cito rolls, motherfucker!

Now, honestly, I don't really care one way or the other who gets the roster spot. For all intents and puposes, they are the same hitter. They've both had an OPS over .920 their last 2 seasons. Neither has a notable platoon split. Neither is especially good on defense. Brian Dopirak has the edge in age, 26 to 32. Ruiz has the edge in reliability, as he continued to dominate after he called called up to the majors. Those are really the only differences.

As I was looking over their many similarities, I remembered that Ruiz got some praise last year for his power to all fields. Now, personally, I don't care whether a player tends to pull all his homers or if he can slap them over the opposite field wall, but I thought it would be interesting to see where Dopirak tends to hit the ball. Enjoy:

The three shaded sections show 250 feet, 350 feet, and the Skydome's outfield wall, respectively. As you can see, power to all fields. As you can see, yet another thing Dopirak and Ruiz eerily have in common. As you can see, Dopirak and Ruiz appear to possibly have been seperate at birth... and then Ruiz was sent six years into the past... and then he got turned hispanic... and then he moved to New Yo-- ah, fuck it.

Or maybe Dopirak just really idolizes Ruiz, and wants to be like him in every way. It certainly would explain a lot.

Or maybe they're gay.

"I want you, Randy--er, I mean I want to be you. Yeah, that's what I meant. Heh... *cough*"

Now that'd be a story worth following. Fuck spring training.